Walking the path

I Am Migrating

Leaving Belfast to Sydney to start all over again was not an easy decision. Believe it or not, it was not any easier to make the decision to leave my Friendster Blog to a new domain. I will miss the the service from Friendster, emailing all my friends whenever I have updated my blog.

I have been looking for a blog site, where visitors can drop a message without needing to log in. The responses from visitors is part of the motivation to keep my bloging going. Dobbs sugested Wordpress, I think I shall give it ago.

This is about the 3rd time i tried moving my blog. Goodbye Friendster blog (for now at least). I shall move my old posts slowly over to my new site...

GOT a JOB!

It has been a while since I last updated my blog... Just less motivated to write these days, and finding Facebook quite fun. Friendster blog is lacking the ability for the general public to feedback. Maybe I should move on to a new blog...

My “Epic Journey”, the move to Australia from Belfast, is falling into place slowly. Australian Medical Council have decided that UK medical graduates with full GMC registration can get full registration in Australia after 1 year supervised training. No need for AMC exams! Unfortunately, NSW Medical Board is slightly behind time with the red tapes, I probably have to wait for a few more months before getting full registration.

I just got offered a 3 years Basic Registrar Training job in Sydney Children Hospital! Excited to finally progress into my registrar years... 3 yrs training job in one of the best paediatrics center in Australia, what else can I ask for?

Sitting for Paeds Diploma exams in November... Then the BIG exam in March, FRACP. Well... made up my mind that it is about time to get some (more) letters behind my name. Traditionally, Sydney Children Hospital  have one of the highest passing rate in Australia, thanks to the extra effort that the senior staffs put in to teach the registrar.  I sort of crash into the teaching sessions midway through, the others taking the exam have been studying hard for many months... I probably have lots of  catch up to do.

MRCPCH is still a dream... Not sure how to realized it...

Social life wise... got a small group of medics friend. And a LARGE UniBuds family! Thanks UniBuds for the great friendship.

Well... the missing part of my life is obvious. Family members scattered around the world. There is no sign when everybody can come together...

As for GF, it still remain in the finding stage. There is no light and no end to the tuner at this moment of time.

Bodhi Nite 2007

Bodhi Nite 2007 by UniBuds, University Of New South Wales Buddhist Society.
Photos link here.

Well done to UniBuds for another successful Bodhi Nite! So much talent, so well organised. :)

Thank you for the friendship...

Bodhi Nite 2007

The Invisible Grasp

August 8th, 2007 at 2:27 am (Writings,  Blogroll,  Events,  Buddhism)

What if I told you that all of your life’s problems stem from one single cause? Will you believe me?

What if I told you I can show you the way to solve these problems? Will you think it is possible?

I don’t believe in belief, despite how paradoxical that statement is. And I don’t want you to blindly believe in me either. So let’s try it out and you see for yourself. Think of a problem – any problem. Lost love. Lost friend. Lost marks. Lost job. Lost money. Lost car. Lost opportunity. Lost reputation.

Now think for a minute how you feel. Unhappy, angry, depressed, frustrated, pity, disappointed, self-critical, or maybe unloved. Whatever the feeling stay with it and recognise it is there. No need to push it away or suppress it. Don’t act upon it either.

Now ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?” And keep asking yourself “why?” until you get to the root of your unhappiness.

You may come up with many answers, but let me propose that inevitably, it will always lead to one answer: attachment. Attachment to things being the way they are and people being a particular way. Attachment to our views as right, and feeling our egos threatened with every criticism.

But everything is impermanent and subject to change. Things change, circumstances change, people change, and most importantly, we change. Problems often arise when we live and attach to things as if they are supposed to be permanent, instead of changing ourselves to the natural rhythms of life.

If we accept that attachment can cause unhappiness, then obviously letting go is a source of happiness. But what does that actually mean? It doesn’t mean to give up or to be indifferent. It has a much more profound meaning than that.

To explore more on this theme of attachment, the UNSW Buddhist Society (UNIBUDS) will be holding its anniversary celebration of performances and festivities on the 25^th August from 7pm to 10pm at the Sir John Clancy  Auditorium. There will be a one-hour play, songs performed by our trained choir, multimedia animations, talks on Buddhism by a respected monk and nun, and a vegetarian dinner before the show at 6pm. Tickets cost $10 for UNIBUDS members and $12 for all others.

UNIBUDS also has other FREE weekly activities on campus, including Dhamma talks in English (Fridays, 7-9pm) and Chinese (Thursday, 6-8pm) and Meditation Sessions (Tuesday and Thursday, 1-2pm).

For more information, please log onto our website at www.unibuds.unsw.edu.au

- Article printed in Blitz -

The above was written by TINA NG. Please contact me or UniBuds if you want to join us for this event.

Many Nights in Sydney

Please meet Sunny, the mascot of Sydney Children Hospital. Sigh... I so miss Sunny. This is my 6^th night shift, whenever Sunny is out, I am in bed...

 

All my working life, I have been in big teaching hospital, besides last year in club Mona (ie Mona Vale Hospital). Sydney Children Hospital, is part of Prince of Wales Hospital, the biggest teaching hospital complex in Australia. Working in Sydney Children Hospital, I should be like fish back in water... but I am experiencing reverse cultural shock.

Nights are busy, non-stop! One call after another. I will be lucky to get 5 minutes to sit down for a cup of tea. Luckily there is a good functioning water cooler on level 3 that keep me hydrated over night. Quite a contrast with Mona Vale nights, usually it become quiet after midnight, and I will be lucky to be called there after. (hehe... lucky because in Mona Vale, the hospital pay you a very competitive rate for call back!)

Being out in Mona Vale, seeing kids with acute illness, sometimes I have forgotten how complicated the chronically ill children can be. It is common that these children have  a medical record thicker than the phone book. Reviewing some of this patients at night is time consuming, luckily most of them have a comprehensive managed plan lay down by the day team.

Starting off in a new place is never easy... we are all trying to work out how much we can trust each other. Winning over the trust of the nursing staffs take some time, I am glad to have a lot of support from the nurses while working in Mona Vale. I am working to win over the nurses in Sydney Children Hospital, it is not easy, I am just another junior medical staffs to them.

After most nights, I would head straight back home, take a shower, check my emails, and head to bed. Unfortunately, with mess up circadian rhythm, I could only sleep for very few hours. I have also been eating one meal a day... Having big big dinner but sleep through lunch. Hehe... the combination of lack of sleep and not much food, my jeans did feel loser.

The nights are challenging, I will survive it:)

 

***Hehe... you know how bad it is, when you actually need to resort to positive thinking!***

 

Goodbye Mona Vale, Hello Randwick

Handed in my pager (don't really miss you), my last call back form (I will really really miss you), and my room keys in Mona Vale. It has been a interesting and enjoyable year. Goodbye Mona Vale, I am moving on.

Glad that my Little Yellow Jazz is so roomy. It is pretty impressive how much of stuff I managed to collect over past one year.

Sydney Children Hospital, is part of a group of hospital called Prince of Wales Hospitals. I am staying in the hostel. This is the room, soon after I moved some of the stuff in. One thing missing from the room is a RADIATOR... Last night was freezing cold. I think I have to buy a fan heater, well it is not that green, but anything else that generate heat (?hot wife inclusive) will cost a lot more...

Other problem is that, there is no fridge space :( However, dinner out in Kingsford cost only $10, maybe there is no need for a fridge.

Starting my first of 8 nights tonight... :) It does remind me of the sleepless nights in Royal Belfast Hospital for Sick Children... I am glad to be back in a Children Hospital!

Small steps in this epic journey... at least I am heading the intended direction...

Change The World

I Went to the Change Your Mind, Change The World conference last weekend. Mitra, the organizer did a good job to managed a crowd of nearly 400 people, including providing tea and lunch over the 2 days. The speakers were generally good, some are just inspiring...

When I was 12 years old, I wanted to be the Prime Minister of Malaysia. When I was 15-16 years old, I was idealistic, I wanted to change the world, I wanted a perfect world. But soon, I realized that the country/the world is in a mess, and I can do as much as I want, but will not have much effect in sorting out the mess. My energy is finite, I no longer aspire to change the big world. Improving my immediate surrounding is much manageable task. (Hmmm.... Maybe I should start by fixing the mess in my room.)

During the conference, we were ask to attend workshops, on topics that really resonate with our heart. I attended one of the work shop  on Racism And Intolerance. Sifu Yuan Shi (a Ch'an Master) who happen to walk by, said that Racism is BLIND (why blind? You may need to ask him yourself). I can imagine that it must be difficult for blind people to be racist, by definition they are having trouble seeing the physical body, let alone trying to differentiate our colour. Interestingly, among this group of seven, there were five people who had grown up in Malaysia, one from China, and a Australian Caucasian.  (Out of the 400 participants, about half are Caucasian). This topic seems to be resonating in some more than others.

The other workshop that I attended was the Meaning of Life. Actually, I did attended 2 workshop on this topic, still unclear about the Meaning of Life after the first workshop, I decided to attend the second. The lay facilitators probably have some ideas of what is the Meaning of THEIR life, but the rest of the group is still searching for the meaning of our life.

Being away from home, working long hours (up to 120hr/week! Usually 50-70hrs), I did sit back and ask myself, is this the meaning of life? Am I living or surviving? Don't get me wrong, I love my job, I love working. During long holidays (ie more than 10 days), when I start to feel bored, I do ask myself, is this Life?

The facilitators and some others in the group, did suggested that there is a Ultimate Meaning of Life. At this moment of time, I believe, that life is a journey, not a destination. Instead of finding the “meaning of life” and work towards it, I choose to wander along this journey, experiencing every moment, living in the present. Maybe there is no meaning to life, we just walk along the path of life, until we drop dead...

“The purpose of life is to be Happy.” The Dalai Lama. That is another thought.

Sunnataram Forest Monastery, Bundanoon

Went for a 4 days meditation retreat with UNIBUDS last week. Feeling refreshed now:)

Sunnataram Forest Monastery is in Bundanoon, Southern Highland of NSW. The temple ground is about 100 acres of bushland, right beside a national park. The air quality is great, and there is no sound or light pollution. The night sky was dotted with stars, amazing.

The Abbot, Phra Mana is naturally warmth, at peace with himself and the world. I can feel loving kindness radiating from him.

60+ members of UNIBUDS attended this retreat. As usual, this is a bubbly, energetic group. I was really impress with how some of the girls took care of another member who was not so well, making sure that she was comfortable and safe. If only the health care workers are as dedicated as them.

Special thanks to the Aunties volunteering in the kitchen. Food was good and healthy, much better than the food that I am feeding myself for the past 1 year in Australia.

Meditation was not so great for me. I was finding it really difficult to concentrate and be mindful. Most time, I could hardly managed one pointedness beyond 20 seconds... Just felt really empty in me, could not find the mental energy to meditate... Is this an excuse?

I enjoyed the physical work of chopping up firewoods and making the “boxes” (coffin for contemplation about death). It was good relaxation, non taxing on my brain.

The wildlifes in Sunnataram roam freely in the Monastery compound. There are a few wombats,   Indian Peafowls, and plenty of parrots and ducks. The wildlife are calm and undisturbed.

Read YangYi's blog and Julian's blog about this retreat.

Australian King Parrot (Male)

Australian King Parrot (Female)

Crimson Rosella

 

 

 

Cycle Trip to Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park

After 72 hours on-call, I felt like this tree trunk... burnout and hollow, barely surviving.

I decided to unwind in Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park, not far from my place. As my fitness level is no where near the time when I was preparing for Border Trek 2005, I drove to the entrance of the National Park, taking 30km off my cycle trip.

 

The first 1km was up hill all the way... nearly gave up. Really miss those days in Belfast, when I used to fly (cycle) up and down town with no pain. After the body had warm up, the cycle is less painful, and I could actually enjoy my surrounding. The ride in Ku-ring-gai Chase is great, no car! At one point, there was a wallaby by the road, looking at this F*t man puffing away up the hill.

After 12km of lovely cycle (which took me an hour! Well it was hills after hills. At least that was what I felt.), I reached the Basin Trek. The trek is 2.8km one way. It was about 3pm, and I thought I have plenty of time... I chain up my bike and started trekking into the bush with my dSLR (camera).

There was plenty of birds singing, but as usual they were always illusive and camera shy. This Tree of Fertility became my model.

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

After a long walk and a deep descend, I reached the Basin. This is a peaceful bay, with a camping area.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

The Australian Wood  Duck with stunning feather details.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

The wallabies feeding on the ground.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I left the Basin shortly after 4pm. Disappointed not sighting the Sea Eagles that suppose to be nesting near the Basin at this time of the year. Also there was no show from the Yellow Honeyeaters.

 

Trekking back was tough! My quadriceps were hurting... Maybe I have been neglecting my fitness level for too long...

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Half way through, I heard a loud call and spotted this little fella on a tree. This White Cheeked Honeyeater is definitely camera shy, it took quite a while before I got  this shot. Worth all my effort trekking and cycling.

 

The sun was setting fast.... But I could not resist taking this photo.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            By the time I reach my bicycle, it was nearly completely dark. I start panicking! I ate my last cereal bar quickly and take off. The wind was cold, the temperature did drop quickly after sunset. With 4 blinking LEDs, I was not prepared to cycle in the dark, deep in the National Park. Worse of all, my water bottle is empty, I have run out of energy drink.

 

The LED light is really hopeless. I can hardly see my way. I did not fancy the idea of spending my night in the bush with the wallabies and ??Dingo, so I have no choice but to keep cycling. While climbing the first hill, my quadriceps went into spasm (which happens to me after 80km during my Border Trek experience).   I though I would have to spend the night in the bush. But luckily after some stretching, I was able to go back on the route. The 12km in darkness was not fun. Worse when a wild animal the size of a wallaby nearly rush into my bicycle.

 

I was glad to see my Yellow Jazz....

Rated Blog

It is official! This blog is not safe for reading by children without parental guidance.

After reading the post by pilocarpine, I decided to get my blog rated. Well.... apparently there are too many "ass" on this site, leading to a PG rating.

看图猜成语

Guess a chinese idiom by using the clues in this photo. The chinese writting in the photo carry the meaning of 3 less 1, ie someone/something is missing.

For answer click here.
For the historic origin of this idiom, click here.

This photo was taken in summer 2007, in a wetland park near Mona Vale, Sydney. The bird in this photo is a Noisy Miner, Manorina Melanocephala, very common in NSW.

The insect is a cicada.

Smart Chinese Ass

Hehe... I always wonder how people end up visiting my blog page... It is more interesting to find out that I am actually a Smart Chinese Ass....

Try searching “Smart Chinese Ass” on yahoo... My page is actually came number 6 :)

What does it say about me?

Few small steps...

I have been in Oz land for past 10 months. It is still difficult to see if I have make the right choice by leaving UK, not that I have a choice to stay back in UK.

Since arriving in Oz, I have make some small progress in reestablishing my medical career over here. Passing Part 1 of the AMC exams is the start. Unfortunately, it looks like there is a big demand on the AMC clinical exams slots, I have yet to secure my exam date.

Paediatrics training... It is a nice experience to be out in a small district hospital, after working many years in a tertiary center. Most time, I am the only paediatrics doctor on the ground. Given the size of Mona Vale hospital, it is surprising the spectrum of disease we see here. 2 Stevens Johnson Syndrome in 6 weeks,intussusception secondary to Meckel's Diverticulum, to name a few... This is definitely a great experience for me...

However, I am really looking forward to be back in training and back in BIG hospital. I am lucky to  get an offer to work in Sydney Children Hospital, this July. Even though this will be another Residence job (ie like SHO in UK, MO in M'sia),  but I am still excited to be back in a Children Hospital.

The RACP have accredited my training in Belfast, I have been given the green light to sit for the FRACP exams (part1) next year. FRACP exams is only once a year, very infrequent compared to MRCP.

The only disappointment in terms of career, MRCPCH clinical exam  is looking far from reach now... I have one year to fly back to UK to sit for this exam (before having to take my part 2 again), but being in a different system (and a small non-teaching hospital) it was difficult to prepare for this exam. I have definitely underestimated how tough it is to pull myself together for this exam.

The epic journey... the struggle is still going on...

Bush Care

Finding UNIBuds  is a joy. It brings back the memories of IMU and INCOVAR...

Not working this weekend, I decided to join Unibuds for their Sunday activity, “Bush Care”. I was not sure what the activity involve, but it is a chance to escape from the routine of hospital life.

There were 5 volunteers from Unibuds and a few pensioners were there for “bush care”.  The city council worker who was supervising, explained that our mission was to pull out weeds among the native plants.

According to him,  when the Europeans first arrived in Australia 200 years ago, they started to keep a record of the different types of plants seen in different areas of Australia. Based on these information, the bush care workers believe that they are able to identify native and foreign plants. They believe that with mass influx of foreigner into Australia, there are a lot of foreign vegetations being introduced. Some foreign plants are taking over the habitats of the native plants, therefore reducing the number of native plants. Some native plants are believed to be endangered. Therefore the bush care volunteers aim to remove the foreign plants so that the native plants can thrive again...

This philosophy does not really fit into my existing believes...

It is arbitrary to use the 200 year old European records as the guide to which plant is native and which plant is not. The plants in Australia 200 years ago may very well been introduced by the other settler before the European Era. The native plants 10, 000 years ago could be very different... Just how long does the plant need to be on this piece of land to be considered native?

Similarly in human history, certain racial/cultural/religious group claim ownership of  certain piece of land, stating that they are the native and deserved special right. Just how long does a certain group of people need to be living on that piece of land before they are considered native? Does living on that piece of land for 5 generation make someone native?Does being born on that land make someone native?

Is it right that Mugabe “weed” out the white farmers? Does the Jews or the Palestinian own that piece of “holly land”?

 

 

This principle that is being used in “Bush Care”when applied to human beings is causing too much pain in our world. We don't really own any land... We are all just passing by...

2020 remains as a dream

2 weeks of holidays at home in KL is over. Lazying, doing nothing for 2 weeks was therapeutic. There was time for reflection.

I have been overseas for many years now. KL is developing at a scary rate. So many new highways and flyovers, I nearly lost my way in my own backyard. Unfortunately, the near first world infrastructure is still being abused by Malaysians with 3^rd world mentality. Illegal parking, aggressive driving, lawlessness on the road.

KLIA  has a pickup zone with 3 lanes, however, illegal parking along the pickup zone cause the traffic to stand still at times. The traffic police were seen smoking nearby, but no action were taken against those cars illegally parked. Such a contrast to airport in first world countries.

The day I fly out from KLIA, I arrived more than 2 hours before departure time. There were 2 long queues at MAS check in counters. It took me more than an hour to check in, even though KLIA is no where near it's maximum capacity. I wonder if it is inefficiency or poor management? Can't remember queuing up that long in Heathrow.

By election in Ijok, politicians are still harping on same old issues. Journalists interviewing the politicians are far from being critical, or are they just being “berbudi bahasa”?

Back under the blue sky in Sydney, life is so much more simple when you are an outsider...

Smart Ass

Ever wonder what kind of Smart Ass are you? Wonder no more...  take this quiz and find out for yourself....

Slightly disapointed with myself :( for being just 20% naturally smart... look like I have been working too hard...

Thanks  Yee Pei's, for introducing this to me. Your Blog capture the life is Belfast...

All-Around Smart You are all-around smart. Essentially, that means that you are a good combination of your own knowledge and experience, along with having learned through instruction - and you are equally as good with theoretical things as you are with real-world, applied things. You have a well-rounded brain. 0% applied intelligence 20% natural intelligence

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Hair is growing

Final count AUD$2150. Thank you for your generosity.

Just an update about my hair... my hair is growling really fast, it is about 1cm now. It is an interesting experience shaving off my hair. Right after shaving, I could feel the breeze on my scalp, damn cold... Really pity those bald guys out there, now I understand why people wear hat in the winter.

The next day, walking out in the sun, Australian sun is really burning... And my virgin scalp nearly burn after 3 mins in the sun. Got a hat for myself...

Now with the hair spiking, I have loss count the number of nurses patting my head... I hope it will not end up as a source of cross contamination of MRSA.

Few days ago, had to resuscitate a newborn baby  on the resuscitair with the overhead heating (heating is to keep the baby warm.) For the first time, I actually feel the heat :P  My scalp was burning without the protection of my hair.

All in all, it was a good experience...

No more hair!

The hair is gone... Thanks for the sponsorship. We raised more than 1k so far. Still waiting for more donation to flow in...

Thanks Joo and KP... my overseas sponsors.
Thanks Melissa... Please leave a msg if you read this.
Thank you for all the cash sponsors from MVH.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I will be shaving my head...

No, I am not renouncing the world... I am just part of the World Greatest Shave 2007, fund raising for Leukemia Fund.

Do visit my fund raising web page... Sponsor me.

I know... Life is not fair, YM.

 

 

 

Happy Chinese New Year

Summer in Southern Hemisphere, alone I welcome the Spring Festival,

The traveler in foreign land, thinking of yesteryears

Overseas there is no festive atmosphere,

write a poem to celebrate.

Photo taken in Sydney Chinese Friendship Garden, in early spring.